Beautiful. Ramblings.

Good morning
A champion is someone who wins a lot. A champion is someone who realizes that the reality of defeat, humiliation, and pain exists but refuses to be held back by fear. A champion is someone who is resilient, someone who has been knocked down in life, and possibly by life, but gets back up again..... After Fred Astaire's first screen test in 1933, a memo from a MGM testing director said, “Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.” Its reported that the legendary Fred Astaire kept that memo over the fireplace in his Beverly Hills home.
Stay focused... God is on your side!

Hope life's been good to you
Since you've been gone
I'm doin' fine now, I've finally moved on
It's not so bad, I'm not that sad
I'm not suprised just how well I've survived
I'm finally over the worst and I feel so alive
I can't complain, I'm free again
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath to forget....


I'm scared to have anyone care for me in the way that he does. I asked him why he didn't tire of always coming over because we never really do anything other than just lie about and talk, the occassional kisses here and there. I love this feeling, I love that I see him almost every day of the week and even when I dont' he always calls. I know that I can always get ahold of him, I don't worry about never hearing from him or getting ahold of him, I love knowing that when I call he'll be there. I adore his sponteniety, the fact that he stops by inbetween my classes to see me.

All of this is perfect, but not so perfect as to be too perfect. No, just perfect, just wonderful in all the right ways. The way you touch me when I need to be comforted. The way you always show me that you're there, you always show me. I can feel that everything is just going to get better. Maybe I am just foolish. Perhaps I am a fool in love? I love feeling your hand around mine, or in mine. The fact that mine gets lost in yours. I love lying with you, talking or just saying nothing. I love these casual, informal, easy things that work so well between us. I love the daydreams I constantly lapse into. I love whispering when we don't need to whisper, but do anyway, the way you look in the soft warmth (half-darkness) of my lamp, cheeks flushed, looking at me with those eyes. I love the 'hungry' look you get when you need me. I love the way you tolerate, even enjoy, all the silly little things that I hate about myself.

I love that I look forward to seeing you even if it's just minutes after you've left my building. I love the feel of your kisses on my neck, and my cheeks, and my earlobes, the way your hands move so innocently. I love the words you use and the way you string them together and I love it even more when you're tongue-tied. I love it when you know exactly what to say, and when you have no idea what to say. I love it when you just listen to the sound of my voice and don't say anything at all. I guess most of all, I love that you care.

Do I write this, or does this write me? An intriguing question. The reverse image of a girl with too many problems and too few solutions. My heart is fluttering in anticipation for all the little moments and the shy glances. The scandelous stolen kisses at work, the tiny gasps when my lips touch your neck and your jawline. Leaves me in such a dizzy, lightheaded delirium. We'll start conversations and get lost in a flurry of lip and tongue before they come to a close or even, really, a beginning. We'll smile and not know how to stop, not want to stop. I get lost in my own fantasy, sometimes, but it's just such a pleasant place to be lost that I don't really want to find my way out.

These thoughts are nowhere near ending. These thoughts have not even completely begun. I am simply short of breath, and that is all. My mind is still tumbling without order, without even enough structure to babble on about in this subtle joy.

FRIENDS- (frends)
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.

ONLY- (on'le)
1. Alone in kind or class; sole.
2. Without anyone or anything else; alone.
3. Exclusively; solely.

From this point on my journal is only open to friends. Sometimes people knock on your door and you think they're friends, later you find out you were wrong. I've got a nice little life carved out for myself these days. Still a few minor glitches but the over all quality is high. If you can't add to that quality, don't knock...

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Those that have...
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"Random as a pea." -ZB

"YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY WOMAN BITCH OR I'LL FUCKIN RUN YER ASS DOWN WITH MY SUBARU!" -AK

"...she is a killer kisser with a nice ass" -MV

"We should just get married, you already tell me what to do." -AK

"...little miss PLAYGIRL" -BB